Conversations

With myself:
Do you realise that it is only after a period of chaos that we actually come to appreciate stilness;of quiet; of unperturbed happiness?That,we realise a childish happiness that we seldom see these days.Something that the “infamous five women on the couch” cannot put a finger on!Do you realise that carnatic music and coffee can just as well set things right.That faith is very important.That there is GOD masquerading as friends. That the message in “Sex and Breakfast” is right.

LD has been one of my anchors in my life at UK. Our relationship was never defined.I belive that it would never have to be. In one of the few chats that I have on my way to the coffee shop to grade or work on some theoretical physics problem (Yes,like most of the writers,I get quite a lot done in external chaos),we had a discussion about what we we would do if we were marooned on an island. An added clause: Not for ever,but,say, a couple of years . Maybe a few months ago,I would have said “May be spend time on the island with a beautiful carnatic singer(Ofcourse, it has to be a woman!)”
But recently I have had an almost religious conversion.I do not mean that associated with GOD.But rather embracing my old friend:Condensed Matter Physics.And when you are actually taught by two all time greats: JPS and GM;you just dont miss it. Ofcourse there were well prepared graduate students who are actual theorists,unlike a half baked one like me. These people along with GM and JPS made me realise what I actually wanted out of life.To understand nature and teach young people to do the same.Under the mentorship of JPS,I seem to be doing a good job on the second one.But about the first task,I realise I need to train myself more and more. Well coming to the point as to with whom would I spend couple of years marooned on an Island:It has to be GM. He is the only graduate teacher who teaches without any notes for a complete 75 minutes. Everything perfect,knowledge just seemed to flow.Imagine being his only student for a full two years! It would be like learning the secret chants from Brihaspathi himself!(I sometimes wonder if Sukracharyar was smarter than Brihaspathi) When I told this to LD,she burst out laughing!

AG and me have spent almost every weekend together for the last couple of years:whether it be shopping at Kroger,the Indian supermarket or just watching a movie.He is one of the few intellectuals I get to hang out with.We talk about a range of topics from spiritualism to GOD to religion to markets to Intelligence.AG has this view that there are only a few intelligent people on this planet.He says them have an inherent intelligence. I beg to differ. I believe an early start, proper guidance and accessibilty to tools can make one reach the same level when all the efforts are focused along that particular direction. GM says the same.I believe it.

Sunday Rituals: Down Memory lane

I remember a long time ago,almost two decades ago,when Sundays used to be very simple,wonderful and something I would always look for.The day would start as usual at 6 or 6.30 am with mom's Green Label Coffee in my glass/cup(Believe me,I had this "ever"silver tumbler with stripes and I would drink anything and everything from this cup alone).Whatever part of the year it was,I remember mornings were always quite pleasant.I would walk the thirty or forty feet in my compound to the gate and wait for the newspaper guy.We used to subscribe to "The Hindu" and I continue to read it even today.I believe it was and remains to be one classy,objective paper.Their Sundays were special,as were the other newspapers.It carried the magazine section which had sections on literature,art,music and the stars.When i say stars,i mean astrological predictions.There also used to be the matrimonial and employment section which caught my attention in my late teens and early twenties.It served as my window to the world.An indicator to the complications that would arise in the years to come.
After reading the newspaper on the stairs,keeping it away from my dad and sister,I would take my bath with the luke-warm water in the three-fourth filled green bucket.Chennai has always had a drought as far as i could remember.So I had to satisfy myself with the little water I had.With the perfume of "Hammam" still in air,I would dress up to go to the nearby temple.Later or there were times when I would take a bus to go to favorite temple of mine. As I grew up,I started combining a trip to the market to get fresh vegetables and greens.It was fun to haggle with the vendors.There was an advantage to this,Whatever extra money I saved,I could keep it!That saved up money would dutifully go towards buying used books at the store.
Once I was back,at around 9 am I would have fresh, fluffy,hot idlies with egg korma waiting.This would be consumed with much relish watching the program on Doordarshan.
Lunch was had with a huge number of relatives at my grandmothers place,with a huge spread and the usual national movie with English Subtitles.Post lunch slumber followed.As the family was asleep I would creep out to the nearby public library to read tintin and later on maybe catch a movie at the nearby theater.
After dinner,the family would make its way back home in a hand pulled rickshaw.It used to cost three rupees.Later on we started using autorickshaws.We would all got to bed by 9.00pm with the transistor playing old tamil songs.We would have been rested and refereshed,ready to welcome Monday.This was years ago.

In the Cauldron...

A wide expanse of
White, blue, black and gray
In His brewing bowl
Weed, shells, you, me and many more.

Doubt &The Seminal Truth

Quite unplanned, I watched the movie "Doubt" with a couple of my friends.This made me ponder about the idea of "being in love".Does love exist?I have been a hopeless romantic who had always held on religiously to this idea of love.The idea that has so ceremoniously been celebrated by poets and writers across cultures and over centuries of civilized mankind.But does it really exist?

Friends,God and Hindusim!

Some of the people close to me complain that i have a huge circle of friends and that I should reduce my social interaction if I need to complete my Ph.D. The last few years have been an almost an impossible arduous climb.Too many disappointments.Too many disasters.Too much for others to understand.All through, the one aspect which has kept me sane,filled me with hope and restored some order in my life it has been friends.They had been my family.This has only made me more empathetic towards the needs of others.This has only made me more human.However,I have been trying to focus on more concrete and important issues in Life:Like being there for helpless children.
All said and done this new year I told myself that I would insulate myself from most of the people.To some extent I did,except for a few exceptions.
I have been a part of a group in Lexington for a very long time.This group means a lot to me.Somehow all the members of the group ended up not being with me on the New Years eve!Hmm!
On the new year day i ended up going to the temple and chanting V.S.This was completely unplanned and gave me a lot of happiness and peace.Somehow I am still not able to convince my physics atheist friends about the existence of God.But this does not deter me from having faith.My resolve gets only stronger!
In the presence of faith,hope is born
In the presence of hope,love becomes a possibility
In the presence of love,anything is possible!

As the days pass by my faith in Hinduism becomes stronger and stronger.This is fuelled by my belief in Karma and it being the reason for the suffering that I see in mankind.Though i am strong follower of hinduism,I am very secular and appreciate the fact that Hindusim accomodates almost every religion that I know of!

New Year!

Another Beginning...an uprising against decadence!No Plan B!