The last couple of years Music has played a very important role in my life.Moreso Carnatic music.I am not ashamed to say that I was born into an artistically(in this context, music) deprived family.But I do feel sad that I never had an opportunity to learn music;in particular carnatic music.In many instances Carnatic music has been my life saver. This is because of the fact that it is not only coupled with the Hindu religion(which so often helps me strengthen my faith) but also for the simple reason that it has a very therapeutic effect on an individual. I had, in the early 2000's ,listened to Mozart and the rest of the classical composers with the hope that it would clear my clogged up brains!However when I spent quite a bit of time staring at white walls,serpentine tubes carrying liquids to my body and at the invisible but impenetrable wall of disbelief and angst,it was M.S who provided me consolation,faith and to some extent seemed to have cured me.After that I was hooked on to classical carnatic music with much of the needed inspiration being fuelled by Subha Srinivasan.I started to attend every possible concert in the local circuit.The local circuit basically involved Subha,Sujan,Arthi & Niveditha. There have been instances where my admiration for Subha has almost bordered on religious devotion.This is because everytime she sings Kurai Ondrum Illai,Shambo or Sri Chakraraja,I mentally transcend into an altogether different plane where a sense of unexplainable,distilled happiness alone seems to exist.
I always seemed to be at peace after one of these sessions.
Recently I have started having this desire to sing atleast one song properly.And this Navratri,I did try my hand at it.Or should I say my throat?Whatever it was a disaster.Not that I was expecting something different.But atleast I made sure I understood the meaning of what I was singing.Thats a good start,right?I do want to understand the mathematical structure beneath the wonderful music that I hear.I do wish I could sing.I have asked a few people to help me with that.Some always say"Sure!Why not" and end the teaching session right there.Should this deter me from learning to sing?No.I am sure I will keep trying to learn.If not to sing,atleast to appreciate the music better.Maybe five years from now I might sing one song decently.It doesn't matter.When you love something,time is never a constraint.We learn to transcend the sea of time with patience;with eagerness and hope that can only be felt.Something that could not be understood by everyone.
